The Brutalist Report

The Onion

• Vince Lombardi Trophy Clanking Around In Trunk Of Roger Goodell’s Car [46m]
• Trump Claims Democrats’ Video To Military ‘Seditious Behavior, Punishable By Death’ [46m]
• AI-Enabled Teddy Bear Pulled From Shelves For Giving Advice On BDSM, Where To Find Knives [18h]
• White House Reclassifies Nursing As Hobby [18h]
• Thanksgiving Travel By The Numbers [20h]
• RFK Jr. Denies Ever Laying Eggs In Olivia Nuzzi [21h]
• Man Who Thought Fleetwood Mac’s ‘The Chain’ Was Over In For Thrill Of His Fucking Life [21h]
• Interactive COP30 Exhibit Allows Attendees To Be Shot Up Into Air On Big Spurt Of Oil [21h]
• Coast Guard Backtracks On Plan To Reclassify Swastikas As Mascot [21h]