The Brutalist Report

The Onion

• I Am The God Of Your Children. I Am The Final Parent. [43m]
• Nation Admittedly Curious To Hear How Trump Pronounces ‘Strait Of Hormuz’ [43m]
• Mitch Nagler [43m]
• Human Arm Hanging Limply Out Of Food Delivery Robot [43m]
• Both Siblings Quietly Pray They Get On Kiss Cam [43m]
• Price Of Teeth Rises [16h]
• Trump On Fence About Attending Ayatollah’s Funeral [17h]
• Trump Wins $60 On Kalshi Betting He’ll Bomb Iran [17h]
• Trump Creates Makeshift Situation Room In Mar-A-Lago Sauna [19h]
• Data Centers By The Numbers [20h]
• NYPD Arrests Man For Hitting Officers With Snowball [21h]
• Anyone Else Have Those Weird Dreams Where Sobbing Future Generations Beg You To Change Course? [21h]