The Brutalist Report

The day's headlines delivered to you without bullshit. Last updated Tuesday, January 13, 2026 3:46 AM (PT).

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The Onion

Trump Announces New ‘Dodger Dividend’ For Anyone Who Avoided Military Service [25d]
Trump Assures Struggling Nation He Has Plenty Of Money [25d]
Aldi CEO Chased Off From Whole Foods Dumpsters [25d]
New Research Reveals Ancient Egyptians Received Significant Help From Parents While Building Pyramids [25d]
Political Profile: Jack Schlossberg [25d]

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