The Brutalist Report

The Onion

• U.S. Military To No Longer Require Flu Shots [31d]
• Regulars Angry Dive Bar Now Popular Enough To Be Financially Solvent [31d]
• Nation Enthralled By Adult Man With Huge Juicy Ass [31d]
• Red Light Therapy: Myth Vs. Fact [31d]
• Bottle Girl Nods As Kash Patel Screams State Secrets In Ear [31d]
• Hot Young Priests Soaked In Holy Water During Vatican’s Annual Wet Vestment Contest [31d]
• U.K. Passes Lifetime Smoking Ban For People Born After 2008 [31d]
• Steve Jobs’ Fist Bursts Through Grave Clutching Crude Drawing Of Something Called ‘The Octomac’ [31d]
• ‘7 Days,’ Hisses Little Girl On Phone Call Welcoming Draft Pick To Jets [31d]
• RFK Jr. Spins Brain On Finger [31d]