The Brutalist Report

The Onion

• Pam Bondi Brought In For Exit Lobotomy [18d]
• Bondi: ‘My Only Regret Is Not Being Able To Re-Traumatize More Victims’ [18d]
• Pete Hegseth Replaces Top General With Horse That Drinks Beer [18d]
• Iran Imposes New ‘Cash, Grass, Or Ass’ Fee For Strait Of Hormuz [18d]
• Blue Origin To Increase Space Tourism By Launching World’s Largest Ball Of Twine Into Orbit [18d]
• Pelicans-Kings Game Ends After Neither Team Able To Recover Tipoff [19d]
• Marvel Calls Emergency Meeting To Determine If They Already Made One Called ‘Avengers: Doomsday’ [19d]
• Photo Of Unknown Child Graces Grandma’s Fridge [19d]
• Artist Profile: Zara Larsson [19d]
• Colorado Overrun With Flamboyant Children After Camp Director Notices Conversion Therapy Device Set To Reverse [19d]
• Over 400,000 KitKat Bars Stolen In Heist [19d]