The Brutalist Report

The Onion

• Chappell Roan Makes Amends By Kidnapping 11-Year-Old Fan [32d]
• Trump Demands Allies Do Their Fair Share To Fuck Up The World [32d]
• Chick-Fil-A Announces Two Halves Of Buns Must Be Married Before Becoming Sandwich [32d]
• Political Profile: Markwayne Mullin [32d]
• Live Possum Found Hiding Among Gift Shop Plush Animal Toys [32d]
• FDA Withdraws Proposed Rule Barring Minors From Using Tanning Beds [32d]
• Trump Wakes From Beautiful Dream Kissing Underage Girl To Find Face Being Licked By St. Bernard [32d]
• Suspect Waits Patiently While Cop Sounds Out Miranda Rights [32d]