The Brutalist Report

The Onion

• Downer and Blitzin’ [28d]
• Ragú Unveils Sensory Deprivation Marinara Tank [28d]
• Congress Allocates $45 Million To Hang Fairy Lights Along U.S. Border [28d]
• Report: Electric Guitar Means This Likely Not Your Mother’s ‘Jingle Bells’ [28d]
• Cackling Referee Declares Penalty For Pass Interference Shall Be 10,000 Years Of Winter [28d]