The Brutalist Report

The Onion

• Study: 20% Of Urinary Tract Infections Caused By Contaminated Meat [22d]
• Mike Johnson: ‘My Christian Faith Is More About Not Jacking Off Than Feeding The Poor’ [22d]
• ICE Agent Panics After Realizing There More Children Than He Has Flash-Bangs [22d]
• Twirling Britney Spears Unaware Phone Died Hours Ago [22d]
• 80-Year-Old Becomes Oldest Woman To Hike Appalachian Trail [22d]
• Over the River Into the ‘Hood [22d]
• NBA Reaffirms Commitment To Gamblers Only Ruining Their Lives Legally [22d]
• Breaking: The Darkness Returns [22d]
• Studios Enter Bidding War Over Napkin Stephen King Wrote ‘Ghoul’ On [22d]
• Vasectomy Hot-Wired [22d]
• Trump Writes Netanyahu Strongly Worded Check [22d]
• Pizza’s Been Delivered Here Before [22d]
• Dan Snyder Walking Around Commanders Stadium Knocking Food Out Of People’s Hands [23d]