The Brutalist Report

The Onion

• Election Touchscreen Map Takes Deeper Look Inside Key Swing Voter [518d]
• RFK Jr. Demands Secret Service Protection After Finding Cheez-It On Kitchen Floor [518d]
• Morbidly Obese Trump Boys Regret Eating So Many Ballots [518d]
• Tom Brady Breaks Down Exactly Why Jiu Jitsu Instructor Could Never Please Gisele [518d]
• Stars And Strips [518d]
• Nation’s Impish Swing Voters Announce They Have Little Surprise In Store [518d]
• Nation Braces For Potential Post-Election Violence [518d]
• Travis Kelce Asks Nerd For Help Passing Concussion Protocol [518d]
• Georgia Officials Remind Voters To Bring 2 Forms Of Weapon To Intimidate Election Workers [518d]
• Poll Watcher Slaps ‘I Voted Sticker’ On Bump Stock [518d]
• Polling Place Boosts Attendance With ’80s Night [518d]