The Brutalist Report

The Onion

• NFL Introduces Touching Flyover Tribute For All Veterans Of Domestic Violence [1038d]
• Lauren Boebert Kicked Out Of ‘Beetlejuice’ Musical For Vaping, Causing Disturbance [1038d]
• Aaron Rodgers Hits $5 Million Contract Incentive After Finishing Season With Zero Interceptions [1038d]
• ‘They Made Her Way Less Hot,’ Complains Conservative Pundit Looking At Picture Of His Mom [1038d]
• Jimmy Carter Makes Pact With Dianne Feinstein That If Both Single In 50 Years They’ll Marry Each Other [1038d]
• Danelo Cavalcante Returns To Empty Pennsylvania Prison After Everyone Else Escapes [1038d]
• Man Requests Spotter For Particularly Messy Sandwich [1038d]
• Suburbanites Baffled By Person Outdoors Who Isn’t Delivering Something [1038d]
• Report: Some Group Called ‘Dads For America’ Currently Running Over Your Kid’s Teacher With A Car [1038d]
• Elon Musk Claims Women He Impregnated Were All Terminal [1038d]