The Brutalist Report

The Onion

• Trump Takes Out Full-Page Newspaper Ad Calling For Death Penalty For Himself [1209d]
• FBI Celebrates With Traditional Martin Luther King Jr. Assassination Day Cake [1209d]
• Trump Uses One Phone Call To Dial Up Own Answering Machine To Hear His Voice [1209d]
• NYPD Arrests Trump After Routine Stop-And-Frisk Turns Up Unlicensed Handgun, 400 Mg Of Ketamine [1209d]
• Backlog In Legal System Leads To Trump Trial Scheduled For 2037 [1209d]
• Jill Biden Invites Any Woman Who Has Ever Touched Basketball To Visit White House [1209d]
• ‘We Need More American-Made Semiconductors,’ Says Man Who Barely Understands How A Stapler Works [1209d]