The Brutalist Report

The Onion

• BREAKING: If Harry, Meghan Going To U.K., Then Heck, Rest Of America Going With ’Em! [17d]
• Energy Drinks: Myth Vs. Fact [17d]
• God Concerned By Q3 Circumcision Numbers [17d]
• Biology Teacher Disappointed Nobody Did Assigned Summer Dissecting [17d]
• Trump Makes Repeated Verbal Flubs While Performing ‘Wild Wild West’ Theme Song [17d]
• Dad Stuns Family With Proclamation He Believes In Werewolves [18d]
• Dad Suggests Beating Traffic By Leaving Game After First Inning [18d]
• Former Rep. Eric Swalwell Admits To ‘Physical Relations’ With Chinese Spy [18d]