The Brutalist Report

The Onion

• NYPD Attempts To Deter Terrorists At NBA Finals By Doubling Assassination Fees [97d]
• Trump Claims He Never Promised A Livable Country [97d]
• Scientists Successfully Transplant Pig Foreskin Onto Circumcised Man [97d]
• Kissing Practiced On Wife [97d]
• Water-Inefficient Landscaping [97d]
• FDA Recalls 40,000 Gallons Of RFK Jr. Milk [97d]
• Tips For LGBTQ+ Travelers [97d]
• Cat Ownership Linked To Schizophrenia [97d]
• Kane Parsons Attaches Backrooms.Mov To Film School Application [97d]
• Smokey Bear Claims Views On Wildfires Have Evolved [97d]