The Brutalist Report

The Onion

• U.S. Populace Appoints Designated Survivor [8d]
• U.S. Tourists Advised To Temporarily Avoid Shootouts With Mexican Drug Cartels [8d]
• Trump Invites Caucasian Half Of Alysa Liu To Visit White House [8d]
• What To Know About The SAVE America Act [8d]
• God Admits He No Longer Loves Humanity But Is Too Afraid To Leave [8d]
• Mexico To Deploy Robotic Police Dogs For 2026 FIFA World Cup [8d]
• NHL Launches $800 Marketing Campaign In Major Push To Attract New Fans [8d]
• RFK Jr. Claims Anti-Protein Extremists Left Head Of Lettuce On His Doorstep [8d]