The Brutalist Report

The Onion

• Biden Airlifted To Standing Position [1149d]
• National Spelling Bee Winner Disqualified After Being Given All 26 Letters Needed For Words In Advance [1150d]
• Embarrassed U.S. Excuses Itself From Asia Security Summit After Realizing America Not In Asia [1150d]
• Denver Nuggets’ Rocky Revealed As NBA’s Highest-Paid Mascot With $625,000 Salary [1150d]
• Target Scales Back Pride Section To Single T-Shirt Saying They’d Do A Threesome With A Girl For Their Boyfriend’s Birthday [1150d]
• Jimmy Carter Wins Boxing Match Against Jake Paul [1150d]
• This Week's Most Viral News: June 2, 2023 [1150d]
• World Rejoices As Batch Of New Billionaires Descends From Sky [1150d]
• Boar’s Head Shows Off Chrome-Plated Concept Ham [1150d]